How to overcome limiting beliefs and self-doubt to create the life of your dreams
In today’s conversation I speak with Hannah Bradley, a mindset coach.
Although Hannah is specifically a mindset coach for business owners, this conversation is packed full of interesting facts and tips that anyone can implement into their life.
This has to be one of my favourite blogs so far, I could have asked 100 more questions. I have learnt so much from it and found it very inspiring - and, I know you will too.
Hi Hannah, please can you introduce yourself for anyone who may not know you
I am a mindset coach for business owners. Helping them to overcome any limiting beliefs they may have about their ability to succeed and create the life and success of their dreams. I work very holistically & very much believe that a healthy body equals a healthy mind, so I also incorporate an element of wellbeing into my coaching too. Helping my clients to understand how their habits and behaviours are impacting things such as sleep and energy levels, which subsequently has a knock on effect on their ability to make positive decisions and choices on a daily basis - helping them to understand the underlying reason behind a particular habit that they want to stop.
For example procrastination is a huge behaviour that so many people struggle with. On the surface it may look like the individual just doesn't want to do the task in hand, but the real reason could be something like they are scared of failure, or are worried about being too successful and what they think that will then mean to them. Once we get to the route of the subconscious beliefs beneath it all, that is where the magic happens!
As a certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner (NLP), I am able to support my clients on a subconscious level - finally freeing them of the limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns they have accepted as truth. I am SO passionate about helping others to succeed, and love supporting my clients in helping them to realise that they do actually already have everything within them to create the success they have always dreamed of - whatever that looks like to them. The only thing truly standing between them and the success they desire is literally themselves - their mindset and whether they think they can achieve it. Helping people realise that their thoughts are not necessarily facts, is life changing, and watching them start to take action, and step into the true wonderful version of themselves is so rewarding.
Outside of this, I am married with a 10yr old son who is completely sports mad!! With him and my husband in the house, I have learnt to love it too... and have a surprisingly good knowledge of anything to do with football and cricket! We also have a lovely black Labrador called Denzel, and I love going on long walks with him. My passion for coaching others came after nearly 8 years of working within corporate HR – I genuinely love people and helping them succeed!
I love that message that the only thing standing between ourselves and success is our mindset. A lot of your work is around mindset – something we all have! So what makes up our mindset?
Our mindset is effectively the thoughts and beliefs we hold about ourselves and everything around us, and how that subsequently creates the reality we live in. Over 90% of our beliefs are formed before the age of 7 years old (I still find that mind blowing!). As children, we are like sponges. We absorb every single bit of information around us, and don't have the ability to question it. As a result, we then go through our lives holding those beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. As you can imagine, a lot of the things you may have believed as a 7 year old will definitely not serve you as an adult! Every single one of us sees the world completely differently and this is down to the beliefs that we have formed throughout our life.
A big part of NLP work, is understanding this, and becoming aware of the fact that just because someone disagrees with you, it doesn't necessarily mean they are wrong - or that you are wrong. The beliefs we hold and the decisions we make as a result, are all entirely based on the way we see things. Working on your mindset helps you to become open the possibility of seeing things differently, and to understand that your thoughts are not facts, and your beliefs can be changed - and in turn, so can your reality. Neuroplasticity is the term used to explain how our brain has the ability to form and reorganize synaptic connections in response to learning something new, i.e a new belief!
Until recently, people thought that our brain was very much fixed, however it has now been proven that we CAN change it. Our beliefs are not set in stone, and by consistently working on our mindset, we are able to create new neuro pathways resulting in a new belief system!
That is incredibly fascinating. How can we change our mindset?
Working on your mindset isn't a quick fix, it takes consistent and continuous work - even I still work on my mindset everyday! The changes you will see though, and the impact it will have on your life are incredible.
One of the first steps to starting to change your mindset is to understand what story you are currently telling yourself. Is it things like 'you aren't worthy, you aren't good enough, you don't have time, it will be too much work, you will fail...?' All of these limiting beliefs will form your reality. Once you have recognised the limiting beliefs you are telling yourself - however true you might currently think they are, think about how you can reframe that thought. For example 'I am worthy!' 'I will make time!' 'I am good enough!' 'Failing isn't an option, if the outcome isn't what I had hoped for, I will have learnt so much for next time!'.
Adopting a growth mindset is key. Looking for the positives and the opportunities in a situation. Rather than thinking something like 'there is no way I can do that', reframe that thought to 'how can I do it?' or 'What do I need to help me achieve it?'. If you find yourself starting to think a negative thought, you can use what is called a 'pattern interrupt'. Literally catching yourself in the thought and saying either 'cancel, cancel, cancel' or 'delete, delete, delete' and then consciously reframing the thought with the positive more empowering statement or thought. This is how neuroplasticity works, and before you know it, those positive thoughts will be so natural, you won't even need to think about it, and the old limiting beliefs will be a thing of the past.
Do you believe our mindset plays a role in our self-worth and confidence?
100%!!!! Our mindset is literally EVERYTHING that makes up our self worth and confidence.
Whatever you believe to be true will play out in your reality. If you allow yourself to believe that you aren't worthy, or that you aren't confident, then that is how you will feel. Our brain is effectively in two parts - our conscious & subconscious. Our subconscious mind is 1,000,000 x more powerful than the conscious mind, and is effectively a HUGE storage facility for everything that has ever happened in our life. However, we are only able to be consciously aware of approx 7 bits of the millions (if not billions!) bits of information each second, and so we have something called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) which acts as a filter between the two.
Depending on what it thinks we think is important, it will find evidence in the subconscious part of our mind to support this, and present it to our conscious mind. If you are always thinking about how unworthy you are, or how little confidence you have, the RAS will present the information from your life that will support this. It may have literally been one event in the last 20 years, but it will find it and use it as evidence to support your belief! It thinks it is being helpful, but in reality, it is just reinforcing your belief that you aren't worthy!
What you focus on expands, and so making a decision to focus on the positives rather than the negatives, and what you DO want rather than what you don't want, will immediately start to change your belief system. As soon as you start to tell yourself that you are worthy, and focus on the confidence you WANT to have, your RAS will work to support you with this too! You have complete control over your thoughts - despite how it may feel sometimes, and our minds can't actually process a positive thought and a negative thought at the same time! So flood your mind with positivity and empowering thoughts about yourself. Before you know it, you will really start to believe it, and your reality will start to change as you start to take action in alignment with your new beliefs.
Where do these self-limiting beliefs about ourselves come from and how can we overcome them?
As I mentioned previously, over 90% of our beliefs were formed in childhood, the remaining few will be from other experiences and situations that have occurred in our life.
At every moment, we have the ability to make a decision about how we respond to a particular event or situation, and it is our response that is key. Choose to look for the positives and choose to look for the opportunities. Knowing that your thoughts and beliefs don't have to define you, and they can be changed.
Focus on what you DO want, and become so aware of the story you are telling yourself - it will create your reality, but equally it can be changed! The sooner you become aware of the story you are telling yourself, the sooner you can change it.
Write down your thoughts and the limiting beliefs you hold about yourself, and then write a positive version of that belief. At first you may feel uncomfortable saying it, as your old belief of not being worthy for example is so ingrained, but keep going! It will get easier, and as I said earlier, your new belief will become stronger and eventually your old belief will completely disappear.
What are your top tips for a beginner hoping to change their mindset and boost their confidence?
First of all, KNOW that your thoughts will create your reality.
Think about the sort of life you are leading at the moment, and what sort of life you want – how do you want to be feeling? If they aren't the same, think about what story you are telling yourself. Is it that you aren't worthy, you don’t deserve that level of success or you aren’t good enough perhaps? That is all completely untrue, so start by writing down some positive statements about yourself to flip them on their head. Always try to look for the positives in a situation, however bad it may seem. If you look for more good, you will see more good, and that is true for all aspects of your life.
Implementing a morning routine is one of the most powerful things I do daily to work on my own mindset. When we first wake up, our mind is actually in whats called a Theta state which is where the brain waves are very slow, and it has been proven that our subconscious mind is very receptive to new information in this state. This means that working on your mindset and belief system first thing in the morning will help to form new subconscious beliefs quicker. Part of my morning routine is also gratitude’s. Being grateful is one of, if not the, most powerful way to raise your mood. Acknowledging what you are grateful for and what you DO have in your life, however big or small it may, will help to prime your mind to look for the positives throughout the day – remember that what you focus on expands, so be very aware of focusing on what you do want and what you already have over what you don’t!
Visualisation is an incredibly effective technique used by so many of the most successful people in the world in both sport and business. Our mind doesn’t know the difference between reality and what we tell it (that still blows my mind as well!). So, if you are able to really vividly imagine the future you want to create and the confidence you want to have, you are almost there. You don’t need to focus on the how, just concentrate on the what, and you will find that the how starts to appear. Really tune into the specifics – where will you be, who will be with you, what will you be wearing? How will you feel? What can you see, hear, smell, taste & touch?? Our mind likes you to be as specific as possible. Visual your goal, and also write it down in as much detail as possible.
Following on from visualisation, start to act ‘as if’. Who is the version of you full of confidence and self belief? How are they acting and what are they doing? Try to embody that version of you – even if it just for a few minutes a day to start off with. You will soon be able to do it for longer, and eventually you will be that confident version of yourself!
Trust your intuition, and don’t get caught in the spiral of comparisonitis! Remember that what you see of other people’s lives and success is only the best bits! Don’t be scared to be YOU. no one else is you, and that is your own unique superpower. As soon as you can embrace that and trust yourself and your own intuition, you will feel so much better. Look at other people who have what you want as inspiration – if they have it, it proves that it is possible for you too!
Finally, know that you already have everything within you to achieve anything you have ever dreamt of. If your mind can conceive it, and your heart can believe it, then you really can achieve it. You are the only person standing between where you are now, and where you want to be, and you can change that now.
How can we keep in touch with you?
I mainly hang out on Instagram, and you can find me at Hannah _Bradley_Coaching, or Facebook at Hannah Bradley Coaching, and my Website is www.hannahbradley.uk. I'd love for you to drop in and say hi!